Take 4: It's My Birthday, Dammit

So, my birthday was June 28, and I decided, what the hell…it’s my special day, and I’m going to watch whatever the hell I want to watch. So read on, and take a look at the four movies I decided to check out.

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The Film Crew: Killers from Space (2007)

In 25 Words Or Less…: Mike, Kevin and Bill, members of The Film Crew, sit through cheesy films and leave snarky commentary tracks that mercilessly mock what they are watching.

Why Did I Pick This?: I’m a huge fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K), and these three guys formed the trio of Mike Nelson and (the voices behind) his two robot pals, Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot. I was hoping that it would be just as enjoyable as the original series.

Curt’s Take – Worth Considering: It was a bit disconcerting to watch this, actually. Sitting through The Film Crew was nearly identical to sitting through an episode of MST3K. The only difference was that there was no silhouette of Mike, Tom and Crow at the bottom of the screen…other than that, the voices were completely the same. I kept having to remind myself that Mike wasn’t trading barbs with Crow and Tom…he was bantering with Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy. This took some getting used to, but when it comes down to it, the hilarity of the jokes and pop culture commentary were on par with those from the original MST3K series. If you liked them from that, definitely consider taking this one for a spin. As for the film they were mocking, Killers from Space, it was pretty bad…and Peter Graves, one of the stars, gave them plenty of material with which to work.

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Flight of the Living Dead (2007)

In 25 Words Or Less…: A scientific experiment contained in a plane’s cargo hold gets loose and starts contaminating the passengers and crew, who must now fight for their lives.

Why Did I Pick This?: Come on! Is that not the BEST title ever for a zombie movie? Genius!

Top IMDB Plot Keywords: Jumping; Cargo Bay; Head Chopped Off; Shot in the Forehead; Celebrity

And I Quote…: Frank: “You thought it was me gnawing on the passengers? Nah, I'm a vegetarian.”

Curt’s Take – Don’t Bother: I thought this might be a clever send-off of zombie flicks. No such luck. Over the top gore, little in the way of hilarity, and way too lengthy zombie attack scenes. Definitely a rip-off of Snakes on a Plane, and had the potential to be much more entertaining than it was. So if you’re curious (like I was) how a zombie attack would play out on a plane…just go on and keep wondering. You’re better off not watching this.

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A Midsummer Night’s Rave (2002)

In 25 Words Or Less…: The tale of Puck, Lysander, Hermia and the rest of the gang from Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night’s Dream get a modern-day makeover.

Why Did I Pick This?: I’ve always enjoyed remakes/updates of Shakespeare’s plays (I’m still trying to track down the Ethan Hawke version of Hamlet that takes place in the hectic world of banking and high finance), and Midsummer has steadfastly been one of my favorites.

Top IMDB Plot Keywords: Drugs; Rave; Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream

And I Quote…: Puck's Monologue

Curt’s Take – Worth Considering: I really enjoyed this…but if you aren’t familiar with the original story and characters, you probably aren’t going to get a lot out of it. The music is thumping, the pace is fast, and you just kind of fall into it. So if you do know your Helena from your Hermia and your Demetrius from your Lysander, check this out…and don’t forget your glowsticks.

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Black Sheep (2006)

In 25 Words Or Less…: A farm owner in New Zealand creates a new breed of genetically-superior sheep…but something goes horribly, horribly wrong.

Why Did I Pick This?: I’m always game for odd mixtures of humor and horror…and the idea of a bunch of sheep going all The Birds on farmers, scientists and animal rights activists is right up my alley.

Top IMDB Plot Keywords: Severed Foot; Weresheep; Vegetarian; Exploding Fart; Vegan

And I Quote…: Tucker: “What about the sheep?” Angus: “Fuck the sheep!” Tucker: “No time for that bro. Go! Go! Go!”

Curt’s Take – Worth Considering: Heh. Good times. Clever writing, great cast, and a frickin’ ridiculous premise. Check it out if you’re in for a good laugh, and don’t mind your horror mixed up with a fair bit of comedy (or vice versa). Just beware…it does get a bit graphic/gory at times.

Take 4: Horrorfest Revisited (2006)

Each fall for the past couple years, I’ve attended After Dark Films’ Horrorfest: “Eight Films to Die For.” It pretty much is exactly what it sounds like…a week-long celebration of eight independent horror films. I usually try to hit them all over the opening weekend, but always manage to miss some. Back in 2006, I managed to hit six of the eight films…but then two additional films were added as “special engagement” screenings. I’ve finally caught up on all the 2006 films through Netflix…read on for the reviews.

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The Tripper (2006)

The Basics: A slasher/horror film starring Jaime King, Thomas Jane, Lukas Haas, Jason Mewes and Marsha Thomason (despite what you might think at first, you probably know each of these folks from at least one movie or television show), with brief appearances by Paul Reubens, David Arquette and Courteney Cox (the latter two also produced the film); Rated R for strong horror violence and gore, drug content, language and some sexuality/nudity

What’s Going On: The weekend-long American Free Love Festival rock concert is taking place in the remote forests of Northern California, and hippies and potheads from all over the nation are converging there for several days of music, tripping and love. And while the local authorities attempt to keep peace and security at the festival, a Ronald Reagan-masked psycho with an axe is showing those left-wing commies what’s what…although he does throw in an occasional redneck to show his bipartisanship.

Top IMDB Plot Keywords: Nude Man Murdered; Knife Throwing; Marijuana; Neck Breaking Scene; Stabbed in the Back

Random Trivia: It rained so much during filming of The Tripper that director/writer/producer David Arquette, at the wrap party, gave each cast and crew member a personalized poncho. In fact, one of the few days it DIDN'T rain was when they shot the rain scenes. They had to make rain for these scenes.

And I Quote: Preppy Victim [before being killed]: “But I'm a Republican!”

Curt’s Take – Don’t Bother: This one is a bit out of left field, because it wasn’t exactly part of the formal Horrorfest schedule. Originally, it was slated to be shown with all the other films, but then David Arquette decided he’d rather it hit theaters on April 20 (for obvious reasons, to those in the know). However, while it was removed from the schedule, I do remember a local theater showing it as part of a one-night engagement during the festival…so it somehow did get snuck in. Anyway, it might have been fun to see this in a theater with a bunch of rowdy horror movie fans…but it really wasn’t that great. It wasn’t scary, just gory…and when it tried to be funny, it was only partially successful. The story was so all over the map that it took a lot of effort just to stay on course. All in all…don’t bother.

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Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror (2006)

The Basics: A horror comedy, starring Snoop Dogg, Ernie Hudson, Danny Trejo, Brande Roderick and a cameo by Jason Alexander. Rated R for pervasive strong violence and gore, sexuality, nudity and language. Yep…they cover all the bases.

What’s Going On: Snoop Dogg (in the guise of what can only be described as a demonic pimp) hosts three short horror films revolving around evil graffiti, sadistic slumlords and greedy rappers who get more than they bargain for. It’s like Tales from the Hood…but with the added legitimacy of Snoop Dogg. All the stories are tied together through a strange, surreal animated sequence.

Top IMDB Plot Keywords: Shot in the Back; After Dark Horrorfest; Shot in the Forehead; Self Mutilation

And I Quote: Roscoe: “That's what I call irony and gluttony all rolled up into one messy package.”

Curt’s Take – Don’t Bother: As far as horror movies go, this is pretty weak. In essence, you basically have three half-hour short films, and none of them do a good job in building a truly scary experience in thirty minutes of time. Sure, some of it’s supposed to be campy and over-the-top, but what you have here is either a horror trilogy that’s not that scary or a comedic trilogy that’s not that funny. There are scarier movies out there and funnier movies out there…see them instead. Unless you’re just a Snoop fan…in which case I can’t see you not seeing this.

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Wicked Little Things (2006)

The Basics: A horror movie starring several folks you don’t know (Lori Heuring, Scout Taylor-Compton, Chloe Moretz), although you might recognize Ben Cross and Geoffrey Lewis.

What’s Going On: A widow and her two daughters move to her former husband’s run-down and secluded family home in the mountains of Pennsylvania after running into financial troubles. Not far from their property, an abandoned coal mine holds a troubled history and a terrible secret. Are the rumors of zombie children coal miners simply tall tales told to frighten visitors? And if they were, would that make much of a horror movie?

Top IMDB Plot Keywords: Widow; Evil Children; Explosion; Mining Camp; Mine Disaster

Random Trivia: Tobe Hooper (director of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Poltergeist) was initially attached to direct the film.

And I Quote: Lisa: “If you ever want to get in my pants again, you better start the car and get my ass out of here RIGHT NOW.”

Curt’s Take - Not a Priority: This was much better than the first two films. It was well-told, the acting didn’t suck…and it tried to be a horror movie. Still, there was still a bit left to be desired. The cinematography was often quite dark…you have a hard time telling what’s going on in the shot, and much of it takes place at night. Also, the horror elements (see the “zombie children coal miners” reference above) weren’t all that frightening. At times they are, sure…but at other times, when you see the gang of them moving through the woods, they just look like, well, a bunch of kids moving quickly through the woods, trying not to fall down and impale themselves on their pickaxes. I will say this…you don’t see pickaxes nearly enough in horror movies. Quick, efficient, and readily able to get the job down. Hell, they’re even throwable. Horror movies definitely need more pickaxes. Anyway, the movie didn’t suck and was entertaining at points…give it a shot if you got nothing better lined up.
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The Hamiltons (2006)

The Basics: A drama/thriller starring (as the Hamiltons) Cory Knauf, Samuel Child, Joseph McKelheer and Mackenzie Firgens. Rated R for strong violence, language and some sexual content.

What’s Going On: Meet the Hamilton siblings: David, the twins (Wendell and Darlene), young Francis…and then, of course, Lenny…who’s kept locked up in a small room under the house. They’re just trying to survive after the loss of their parents…but let’s just say that they aren’t all that they appear to be at first glance. They’ve moved six times in the past two years, and people tend to go missing when they’re around. Life as a Hamilton isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Top IMDB Plot Keywords: Gagged and Bound; Night Vision; Joint; Revelation; Trapped in House

And I Quote: Wendell: “Katie…if monsters were real, they’d be a lot different then they are on TV.”

Curt’s Take – Worth Considering: By far, this was the best of this group of four movies. The story slowly but surely pulls you in, as you begin to wonder what the hell is up with this strange group of siblings. And just when I thought I knew what was going on…about two-thirds of the way through the movie, the rug gets pulled out from under my feet. And it happened twice more after that. I love a movie that keeps me guessing, that has characters you root for and characters you love to hate, and that has you on the edge of your seat. Although the title is pretty unassuming, I recommend checking this out if you stumble upon it.