This being my first official review entry, I kind of feel I need to say something monumental or profound...about how these movies shape the very fabric of what life is all about.
The I saw the first movie happens to star Seann Everett Scott. And any attempts at being profound went out the window.
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Bulletproof Monk (2003)
In 25 Words or Less...: Immortal Tibetan Monk comes to San Francisco to protect ancient magical scroll from Nazis and to find an apprentice
Thoughts: And what a film to start off with. Was only able to pay partial attention to this one, as I was messing around on e-mail at the time...that alone speaks volumes for the film. While many of you know that I love cheesy action flicks, I just couldn't get into this one. The fight scenes were passable, but were less like Jackie Chan "he's really doing that" fight scenes and were more like poorly rigged "Crouching Tiger" fight scenes. Still, can't go wrong with Nazis as bad guys. Especially kinda hot female Nazis. Rowr.
Things to Look Out For: Reverse aging (youthening?) of evil Nazi (redundant?) which makes you wonder if he's going to try to hook up with his own granddaughter. Okay, maybe I'm the only one who thought that, but sounds like something an evil Nazi who just got 60 years younger might try to pull off.
Memorable Lines: None, really. Seann Everett Scott is a smartass and Chow Yung-Fat is a wise monk. Pretty predictable.
Overall Rating: 4 out of 10 - Not good enough to keep my full attention, but the Russian Mafia Princess was kind of pretty (if not completely out of left field). I've definitely seen worse, but skip it.
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Dreamcatcher (2003)
In 25 Words or Less...: Four friends go on yearly hunting retreat, but not all is as it seems. Things go wrong. On a "bring in the military" type scale.
Thoughts: It was kind of "Stand By Me" meets "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" meets "Outbreak." Meets "Rainman" and "Signs." With some HP Lovecraft thrown in. Um...yeah. It didn't really know what it wanted to be. I liked most of it, but the whole "bring in the military" aspect kind of dragged this out for me in a direction I didn't enjoy. Almost like an additional plot element that could have been done without. Always liked Jason Lee as an actor, so that was a pleasant surprise. Morgan Freeman was also in it...but nothing extraordinary. I did however find myself talking to the TV during the closing scene ("Shoot the gun...now! Now!")...so that's good, I think. Overall, though, a little more sci-fi to the tone than I was expecting.
Things to Look Out For: The Memory Warehouse (neat concept...but for a different movie); "Shit Weasels;" Least Appealing Bathroom Encounter Ever; An Attack to the Jimmy That I Still Cringe At
Memorable Lines: "You just crossed the Curtis line!" - Sure, my name is spelled Curtiss, but I may co-opt this..."You ate the last jalapeno popper?!? You just crossed the Curtiss line!"
Overall Rating: 6 out of 10 - Paid pretty good attention despite (again) the Internet. Liked the first half...but then it got all Tom Clancy on me. Catch it on cable, if nothing else interesting is on.
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Anger Management (2003)
In 25 Words or Less...: A mild-mannered Adam Sandler finds himself sentenced to anger management therapy under the direction of a slightly deranged Jack Nicholson.
Thoughts: This worked for me. The part I enjoyed most was that Sandler keeps finding himself in these escalating situations and goes from acting much like any of us would to acting much like any of us wish we could. He plays an everyday Joe (albeit named Dave) that is not likeable, but that I could see aspects of myself in. A couple chuckle out loud moments, but definitely more along the lines of "The Wedding Singer" than "Billy Madison." Nicholson was good, and God bless Heather Graham's small role in it.
Things to Look Out For: Cameo by John McEnroe (he did so in "Mr. Deeds", too...connection?), Tibetan Monk Ass-Kicking, and Most Frustrating Flight Attendant Interaction Ever
Memorable Lines: "I want to have a family with you...I want to have kids with you. Kids who have your eyes and your lips and my...last name. That's all I wish on them."
Overall Rating: 7 out of 10 - Made me chuckle and put a smile on my face. Definitely check it out at some point, if you seek a pretty safe comedy...but not something you'll likely watch over and over.
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2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)
In 25 Words or Less...: Former cop turned illegal street-racer (Paul Walker) helps feds bring down a drug dealer by working for him as a transporter for his operation
Thoughts: Wow...embarrassed to say I really liked this. Sure, I really liked the first movie ("The Fast and the Furious," for those of you taking notes at home), but thought the sequel would...well...suck. Sure, Vin Diesel (who was in the original) didn't sign on for this...but it would have been hard to rationalize that the way the first movie ended, so it actually didn't end up coming off as hokey. On a side note, they put together a short film to chronicle how Walker's character made it from California to Miami, where the second film is set. You have the option of watching it before the main film.
Anyway, I never thought of myself as a huge car fan, but the way the "tuner" culture was portrayed in both films was pretty interesting. Plus, I always love a good chase/race scene, and this had plenty of 'em. Kept my interest at a steady pace throughout the entire film, unlike all the others...and was entertaining. Sure, the dialogue could be a little goofy, and the acting wasn't GREAT...but I was entertained for close to two hours.
Things to Look Out For: Excellent Freeway Chase Scenes, A Scared Rat With Nowhere To Go, and An Impressive Looking (Although Entirely Predictable) "Fooled You, Coppers!" Moment
Memorable Lines: None really. Some fun interacton between Walker and his buddy, played by Tyrese, but nothing that goes down in the books as particularly "clever."
Overall Rating: 7.5 out of 10 - Quite fun...actually more enjoyable for me than "Anger Management" (I can't believe I'm saying that, but it's true), but still not willing to let it break the 8-Point Barrier. Would definitely check out once...and you don't have to have seen the first movie for it to make a hell of a lot of sense.
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COMING ATTRACTIONS
Next time on TAKE 4...Reality TV hits the big screen and another Stephen King adapation is waiting in line for review. Also, I'll be hitting a trilogy set in Mexico...three movies spread across two DVDs.
