Take 4: Thicker Than Water

The Pitch: Was looking through my queue for things that fell naturally together to form a group of four DVDs. One of the first that sprang forth was the fact that I had several films with the word "blood" in the title. Now, you'd think these would all be horror movies...but they aren't. Read on.

---------------------------------

Blood and Black Lace (1964)

What's the Story?: It's a dark and stormy night in Rome, and those gathered at a haute couture fashion house are preparing for the next day's fashion show. As she walks through the rain to the mansion that houses the boutique, a lone fashion model is attacked by a faceless cloaked figure. Word of the brutal murder reaches those in the fashion house, and suspicion begins to mount as everyone tries to figure out who the guilty party is. Was it the model's boyfriend? One of her roommates? A jealous co-worker? Well, at least the suspect pool starts to narrow as the killer strikes again...and again...but what's his/her motive?

IMDB Plot Keywords: Giallo; Beautiful Woman; Blood; Drowning

Familiar Faces: This is an Italian film, directed by ground-breaking director Mario Bava, so not many familiar faces. It's not to say that there aren't any American faces in this (Cameron Mitchell, of Death of a Salesman and Carousel, is one of the main stars), but you're just not likely to recognize any of them.

How Much Blood, Exactly?: It's not at all gruesome, to be honest. What little blood is seen looks so unlike blood (it's kind of a day-glo red), that it's not the least bit disturbing. From what I've seen of Italian cinema in the '60s, this isn't at all unusual. So, definitely not a horror film...mark this one up as a thriller. Or, as the Italians call it, giallo...Italian for "yellow," and named after the color of mystery/crime pulp novels in Italy at that time.

Curt's Take - Worth Considering: I was very, very surprised by this, having had bad luck with the "Italian thriller" import before. This was a surprisingly engaging "whodunnit," that drew me in from the artistic stylings of the opening credit sequence, which did a great job of serving up the cast of characters we were about to encounter. Kind of Hitchcockian in nature, there were a lot of just very smartly written scenes. One, for example, features a diary that plays a somewhat prominent role in the film. It's discovered among the deceased's belongings, in the center of the main staging area of the fashion house...and EVERYONE in the room seems very interested in it. What does it contain? About who? The kicker is that the diary is in plain sight, in the center of the room...and none of the seventeen people interested in it can just go up and take it, because everyone else is watching it out of the corner of their eye. Very clever. There's also a scene where two characters conspire to give each other alibis for the time of the murder. After an elaborate set-up, they tell the investigating cop how they were together through 10pm (the time in question)...only to have the bomb dropped on them that there was another murder an hour later that they now have no supporting story for. All in all, it was a fun mystery to watch (although a little cheesy and confusing at times), and was a great precursor to movies like Scream, that keep the audience guessing the identity of the murderer until the end of the film.

---------------------------------

Blood Simple (1984)

IMDB Plot Keywords: Film Noir; Stabbing; Violence; Psychopath

What's the Story?: Texas bar-owner, Marty, suspects that his wife, Abby, is seeing another man...and the private investigator finds this out to be true. Marty isn't as ready to hear this news as he thought he might be, and proceeds to hire the private investigator to kill Ray, the man (and bar employee) who is sleeping with Abby. This is just the start of a twisting and turning series of assumptions, miscommunications and other confusing events that leads to...well...I really can't tell you without spoiling the movie.

Familiar Faces: This is one of Frances McDormand's first films (you'd know her from Fargo, most likely), and she definitely went out to become the biggest star of the four main characters. There's also Dan Hedaya, who plays Marty, who also played Carla's ex-husband Nick on Cheers. M. Emmet Walsh plays the private detective hired by Marty, and has had small roles in My Best Friend's Wedding, Romeo + Juliet, and Wild Wild West. Finally, there's John Getz...I actually don't recognize him from anything, but I felt bad leaving just him out. Playing Ray in this film, he's also had several guest roles in lots of different television shows (according to IMDB).

How Much Blood, Exactly?: This is definitely a thriller, not a horror movie. That having been said, though, it is a bit violent, and while it hasn't reached Reservoir Dogs levels of blood, there are plenty of cringeworthy moments of violence.

Curt's Take - Must See: I wasn't expecting a whole lot from this early '80s thriller, but I also didn't realize going into it that it was the first film done by the Coen brothers (who have gone on to make such films as The Big Lebowski, Fargo and Raising Arizona). That having been said, I was sucked right into this one. Until I saw the "keywords" that this is filed under on the IMDB, it didn't hit me that this was a modern-day film noir...but it had the twists, turns, and double-crosses of that classic genre. And the great thing about the way this modern film noir was shot, is that we, the viewers, are pretty much always one-step ahead of the characters...not so far ahead that the movie become predictable, but just enough that we can see the pit the characters are digging themselves in, and we sit there wondering "Geez...how are they going to get out the situation they are creating for themselves?" I don't want to say too much about the plot, because it's very cleverly orchestrated...just do yourself a favor and see this film (and close your eyes during the more violent parts).

---------------------------------
Bloody Movie (1987)

What's the Story?: Okay, bear with me. So, there's this mansion in the hills that was owned by 1920s silent film star, Lance Hayward...who has been either in seclusion or missing for decades. The funds that have been keeping his home up and running have been depleted, and it was just announced that the house is about to be purchased by a corporation that plans on tearing it down. Several people, both those involved in the sale of the property and curious townsfolk, decide to visit the property to check it out before its demolition...only to be confronted one-by-one by the ghost (but is it a ghost?) of Hayward, dressed as roles from his most famous movies, killing the trespassers in ways reminiscent of his films.

IMDB Plot Keywords: Independent Film (and...that's all...not many folks are searching for this film)

Familiar Faces: I was going to say nobody...but I almost forgot that Alan Hale, Jr. has a small cameo as a security guard. You know him as "The Skipper" from Gilligan's Island. Getting him must have blown the entire budget for this film, because if there'd been any money left over, I'm guessing they would have spent it on...I don't know...something else. Not a film. Sadly, upon further investigation, I discovered that one of the producers of this also produced Dude, Where's My Car? And that, folks, says it all.

How Much Blood, Exactly?: Over the top. Buckets. This is a campy, bad, cheesy, bad, terrible, bad horror movie. And it's not even scary. Which means that it doesn't matter how unrealistic the scene is, it can be made BETTER by putting in more gushing red liquid. Yeah...THAT'S where the money went...not toward landing "The Skipper," but in purchasing gallons and gallons...and gallons...of vaguely reddish liquid. Sad, really.

Curt's Take - Run in Fear: First, off, this film was originally called Terror Night. So if you're avoiding my advice, you might need to track it down under that name. But please...for the sake of all that is holy...do not go near this film. Did you ever catch USA: Up All Night on the USA Network, back in the late '80s and early '90s? It was on Saturday nights, was hosted by Gilbert Gottfried, and featured a different terrible movie each weekend (calling them B-Movies insults B-Movies everywhere). Movies like Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-o-Rama (an actual movie, I kid you not). This is the kind of film that would be featured alongside that. I actually had to break out the alcohol to make it through this train wreck (I managed to polish off a bottle of sake)...it only seemed fair, if the characters on-screen can be drinking, I sure as hell get to. Sadly, being buzzed while sitting through this didn't help a whole lot.

---------------------------------
Bloody Reunion (2006)

IMDB Plot Keywords: None (guess nobody is seeking this one out)

What's the Story?: Schoolteacher Mrs. Park isn't feeling well, and may not have long to live. One of her former elementary school students, who has been helping take care of her, decides that inviting several other students to Mrs. Park's estate for the weekend might help ease her pain. Well...turns out the kindly (and slightly forgetful in her old age) Mrs. Park wasn't all that nice to each of these students back in the day, and each has a MAJOR grudge against her and blames her for their lack of progress in life. But who is in more danger...Mrs. Park, or each of these seven former students?

Familiar Faces: Absolutely none. Unless you're a fan of Korean cinema. Even then I couldn't tell you which ones were the Korean Brad Pitt or Julia Roberts.

How Much Blood, Exactly?: Wow...this is the one true horror films in the bunch. And those overseas filmmakers sure do know how to make the most of their visual effects. If you don't like slasher films, definitely, definitely, definitely stay away from this one. To illustrate, one character is bound to a chair with his head tilted back and mouth forced open, has a handful of small, tiny X-Acto Knife blades poured into his gaping mouth, and then has a kettle of hot water poured in. I had to look away...it was pretty bad.

Curt's Take - Worth Considering: First off, I can't remember if this ended up in my queue because I needed another "Blood" movie in this review, or if Netflix had recommended it based on other movies I'd been watching (I don't think I saw a preview of it, and then added it). Secondly, this is a Korean film, with no dubbing, only Korean audio and English subtitles (which don't seem to always paing an accurate picture of what is really being said). The first half of the movie was a bit slow and confusing...but once it picked up, it did so with rapid and violent force. It almost would have ended up a Not a Priority for me, but the ending (I thought) was so clever and twisted, that I sat there watching it unfold with my mouth wide open in surprise (once I actually understood what was going on). So, if you run across this, check it out...but be warned...the title is an understatement.