Take 4: Mexican Standoff
Although the purpose of Take 4 is technically to review four DVDs at a time, this go around, we end up having five films, as two of the Mexican Gunslinger trilogy (El Mariachi and Desperado) were on the same DVD. You know, the trilogy probably has a snappier name than that, but I'm sticking to it...
And now...on with Take 4!
======================================
From Justin to Kelly: A Tale of Two American Idols (2003)
In 25 Words or Less...: Kelly and Justin meet during Spring Break and try to make romance work, but Kelly's conniving friend gets in the way. Much singing ensues.
Things to Look Out For: Having to Choose Between the "Extended Version" and the "Theatrical Version"; Least Appealing Bathroom Encounter Ever (I was wrong about it being in "Dreamcatcher"); Worst "Summer Nights" Rip-Off from "Grease" Ever; Least Surprising "She Goes All Skanky to Get the Party Guy,,,Wait They Did that in 'Grease,' Too" Scene; And Last But Not Least...Impromptu Hovercraft Showdown With Edge-Of-Your-Seat Beanbag-Tossing Action!!!
Thoughts: First off, let me explain why...okay, seriously, no amount of explaining can rationalize why this is on my list. I could have just skipped it and not reported that I watched. But that wouldn't be fair to you, the reading public. So how did it end up there? Remember, these movies I'm watching now were added to my list over a year ago. I think I was just curious HOW the American Idol promotional machine managed to crank out a movie and wondered what it looked like. A big part of it was that I am a huge reality television fan. I know, that's no excuse...and as it turns out, I'd come to regret the decision.
The movie takes place in Miami, providing an interesting bit of continuity for me, as the last film I reviewed ("2 Fast 2 Furious") also took place there (the same night club, Pearl, is even used in both movies). The opening scene took place entirely on a beach, though, dashing any hopes I had of Paul Walker screeching in on a souped-up import and running down the entire cast. As the opening scene continued, I thought it just featured a concert taking place at the beach until it hit me...the CAST was singing. They were full-out lip-synching...and it was very jarring to watch. This continued for some time (lip-synching, choreographed dancing, etc) and then...it was over. Rather abruptly. I mean, the entire group of beachgoers reached the end of their singing and were then just kind of standing around awkwardly, as if the demons who made them burst out in song and dance had just suddenly been exorcised. I really felt quite embarrassed for them and didn't know where to look. And the rest of the film was pretty much the same...pretty poor acting, music starts to play with vocals, suddenly you realize the cast is singing/mouthing the words, awkward post-lip-synch moment, more mediocre acting.
Memorable Lines: "I'm from Texas, I've seen bigger." - Kelly, referring to Justin's hair, of all things...no, seriously, she is...; "Why don't you back off, Sideshow Bob." - said to Justin, expressing what we are all really wanting to say
Overall Rating: 3 out of 10 - I will say this...the sheer cheesiness of it did hold my interest. I mean, they REALLY blindside you with the singing and other hokey plot devices. Like a train wreck, I did keep watching to see what would be tossed haphazardly on the screen next.
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El Mariachi (1992)
In 25 Words or Less...: Mariachi guitarist is mistaken for an assassin who carries his weapons in a guitar case, leading to much trouble for everyone invovled, especially the mariachi.
Things to Look Out For: A Heck of a Movie for a $7,000 Budget; Gunshot Wounds Created via Exploding Condoms; A Brief "WTF?" Moment at the End Which Is Best Left Ignored
Thoughts: Originally saw this movie in undergrad thanks to my friend Tom K, the Master of All Things Cinema (you out there, Tom?). Had added it to my list, because I wanted to see the other two movies in the trilogy, but it had been a while since I'd seen this first installment. The film quality isn't the best, and it is in Spanish...but you quickly become used to how it looks and to reading the subtitles (although you can watch it dubbed, if you have the DVD...I just preferred the subtitles). It goes at a good pace, and has slower moments when slower moments are needed. It is a bit bloody/violent...but the director does a good job of peppering the film with humor that easily crosses cultural boundaries.
Memorable Lines: "What happened to the days when guitarists were gods?"
Overall Rating: 8.5 out of 10 - Definitely put this on your "to rent" list, especially if you have seen the other two movies in the trilogy...and didn't know there was a first movie. I'd say even if you didn't care for the two movies that followed, this one is unique enough to give a chance...and you're only out 80 minutes of your time if you didn't like it.
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Desperado (1995)
In 25 Words or Less...: Now the mariachi IS an assassin. Another Mexican town, another beauty, another drug lord. But much more weaponry and a higher body count.
Things to Look Out For: Salma Hayek; Much Bigger Budget...Much More Blood; Salma Hayek; Some Nifty Gunfight Choreography; Did I Mention Salma Hayek?
Thoughts: Again, pacing dragged this movie down for me, but it was still mostly enjoyable. The front half was pretty steady in story progression and action, but the latter half dragged for me. Also, you can relate to the characters a lot less than in the El Mariachi. In the first movie, the hero is an everyday sort of guy...but he's transformed in this film to a guitar-case toting death machine. He seems to have slipped a little on the sanity scale, too. You still root for him, but throughout the movie I couldn't help but wonder why he's doing this? Didn't he get his revenge in the last film, for the most part? The acting was a bit overdone in this movie, while in El Mariachi it was pretty cut and dried. While a lot recognizable names were in this one...still preferred the simplicity of the original.
Memorable Lines: Priest - "Do you want confession?" El Mariachi - "Maybe later father, because where I'm going...I'd just have to come right back."
Overall Rating: 6.5 out of 10 - Rent as perhaps a themed movie night, or if you want to give Once Upon a Time in Mexico a shot (no pun intended). Or perhaps you saw the first movie, and didn't realize there was a trilogy. Regardless, had some entertaining moments, was overall enjoyable, but there are better things out there to rent. And yes, for those keeping score, I rated 2 Fast 2 Furious higher than this.
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Once Upon a Time in Mexico (2003)
In 25 Words or Less...: Guitarist gunslinger becomes embroiled in a conspiracy to overthrow the Mexican president, where all the players have their own varying agendas.
Things to Look Out For: Callbacks to the First Movie in the Trilogy (e.g. Zipline/Bus Sequence); Less Dramatic Acting, More Dramatic Storyline
Thoughts: I liked this one a lot more than Desperado, but am reluctant to rate it as well as El Mariachi, which started off this Robert Rodriguez trilogy. Also reluctant to rate it so well as one friend of mine, in finding out this was on my viewing list told me to not even bother, it was so bad. So, take my opinion for what it's worth...I got caught up in it. I think what did it for me was the multi-faceted storyline. Here you have many plots going on at once...many protagonists, who don't all interact. Well, not directly at least. That created for a rather intricately-woven web of story, motive and action. Not only did you have Antonio Banderas, reprising his role as El Mariachi, but you also had Johnny Depp, playing a CIA agent who played by his own rules (and added an element of humor to the story that Desperado lacked). Throw into the mix a retired FBI agent wanting revenge for a slain comrade and you have three guys with very different approaches and reasons for getting done what they want to get done.
Memorable Lines: "Are you a MexiCAN or a MexiCAN'T?" - Sands (Depp)
Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 - If you've seen the first two, definitely rent this and finish off the trilogy. If you like multiple storylines, such as in Pulp Fiction and Gosford Park (yes, I'm putting those two hand-in-hand...hush, it's my review, not yours), then definitely rent this. If you don't care for some slightly fantastical liberty taken with storyline and lots of gunplay, I'd pass on this. Overall, though, definitely a renter in my book.
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Needful Things (1993)
In 25 Words or Less...: Creepy antique dealer opens shop in Castle Rock, Maine, giving the residents things they most desire...but for a small price.
Things to Look Out For: Max Von Sydow's Overall Creepy Demeanor and His Pressing Need For Dental Work and a Manicure
Thoughts: After Dreamcatcher last issue, wasn't sure what to expect from another Stephen King adaptation, but this was pretty engaging/entertaining. The best part by far is Max von Sydow as the creepy (I use that word a lot, but that's what he is) Leland Gaunt, antique dealer and owner of the "Needful Things" store. This was more a study into human nature than a horror story. Not much supernatural goes on...but instead he sets up the entire town as "a chain of fuses" that set each other off in a chain reaction of trouble.
Memorable Lines: Von Sydow's many double-entendre lines, making you wonder as to his true nature: "If it's to hot in here, Mr. Jewett, just say the word. I'm afraid I have a tendency to turn up the heat."
Overall Rating: 7.5 out of 10 - I'd recommend giving this little gem a spin...but it's not really that creepy. Would have given it an 8 if it's ending wasn't so anti-climactic
=========================================
That concludes this issue of Take 4. It's taken us from south of the border to the shores of Maine. And we've seen that Curt will watch just about anything...although won't necessarily LIKE it.
And now...on with Take 4!
======================================
From Justin to Kelly: A Tale of Two American Idols (2003)
In 25 Words or Less...: Kelly and Justin meet during Spring Break and try to make romance work, but Kelly's conniving friend gets in the way. Much singing ensues.
Things to Look Out For: Having to Choose Between the "Extended Version" and the "Theatrical Version"; Least Appealing Bathroom Encounter Ever (I was wrong about it being in "Dreamcatcher"); Worst "Summer Nights" Rip-Off from "Grease" Ever; Least Surprising "She Goes All Skanky to Get the Party Guy,,,Wait They Did that in 'Grease,' Too" Scene; And Last But Not Least...Impromptu Hovercraft Showdown With Edge-Of-Your-Seat Beanbag-Tossing Action!!!
Thoughts: First off, let me explain why...okay, seriously, no amount of explaining can rationalize why this is on my list. I could have just skipped it and not reported that I watched. But that wouldn't be fair to you, the reading public. So how did it end up there? Remember, these movies I'm watching now were added to my list over a year ago. I think I was just curious HOW the American Idol promotional machine managed to crank out a movie and wondered what it looked like. A big part of it was that I am a huge reality television fan. I know, that's no excuse...and as it turns out, I'd come to regret the decision.
The movie takes place in Miami, providing an interesting bit of continuity for me, as the last film I reviewed ("2 Fast 2 Furious") also took place there (the same night club, Pearl, is even used in both movies). The opening scene took place entirely on a beach, though, dashing any hopes I had of Paul Walker screeching in on a souped-up import and running down the entire cast. As the opening scene continued, I thought it just featured a concert taking place at the beach until it hit me...the CAST was singing. They were full-out lip-synching...and it was very jarring to watch. This continued for some time (lip-synching, choreographed dancing, etc) and then...it was over. Rather abruptly. I mean, the entire group of beachgoers reached the end of their singing and were then just kind of standing around awkwardly, as if the demons who made them burst out in song and dance had just suddenly been exorcised. I really felt quite embarrassed for them and didn't know where to look. And the rest of the film was pretty much the same...pretty poor acting, music starts to play with vocals, suddenly you realize the cast is singing/mouthing the words, awkward post-lip-synch moment, more mediocre acting.
Memorable Lines: "I'm from Texas, I've seen bigger." - Kelly, referring to Justin's hair, of all things...no, seriously, she is...; "Why don't you back off, Sideshow Bob." - said to Justin, expressing what we are all really wanting to say
Overall Rating: 3 out of 10 - I will say this...the sheer cheesiness of it did hold my interest. I mean, they REALLY blindside you with the singing and other hokey plot devices. Like a train wreck, I did keep watching to see what would be tossed haphazardly on the screen next.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
El Mariachi (1992)
In 25 Words or Less...: Mariachi guitarist is mistaken for an assassin who carries his weapons in a guitar case, leading to much trouble for everyone invovled, especially the mariachi.
Things to Look Out For: A Heck of a Movie for a $7,000 Budget; Gunshot Wounds Created via Exploding Condoms; A Brief "WTF?" Moment at the End Which Is Best Left Ignored
Thoughts: Originally saw this movie in undergrad thanks to my friend Tom K, the Master of All Things Cinema (you out there, Tom?). Had added it to my list, because I wanted to see the other two movies in the trilogy, but it had been a while since I'd seen this first installment. The film quality isn't the best, and it is in Spanish...but you quickly become used to how it looks and to reading the subtitles (although you can watch it dubbed, if you have the DVD...I just preferred the subtitles). It goes at a good pace, and has slower moments when slower moments are needed. It is a bit bloody/violent...but the director does a good job of peppering the film with humor that easily crosses cultural boundaries.
Memorable Lines: "What happened to the days when guitarists were gods?"
Overall Rating: 8.5 out of 10 - Definitely put this on your "to rent" list, especially if you have seen the other two movies in the trilogy...and didn't know there was a first movie. I'd say even if you didn't care for the two movies that followed, this one is unique enough to give a chance...and you're only out 80 minutes of your time if you didn't like it.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Desperado (1995)
In 25 Words or Less...: Now the mariachi IS an assassin. Another Mexican town, another beauty, another drug lord. But much more weaponry and a higher body count.
Things to Look Out For: Salma Hayek; Much Bigger Budget...Much More Blood; Salma Hayek; Some Nifty Gunfight Choreography; Did I Mention Salma Hayek?
Thoughts: Again, pacing dragged this movie down for me, but it was still mostly enjoyable. The front half was pretty steady in story progression and action, but the latter half dragged for me. Also, you can relate to the characters a lot less than in the El Mariachi. In the first movie, the hero is an everyday sort of guy...but he's transformed in this film to a guitar-case toting death machine. He seems to have slipped a little on the sanity scale, too. You still root for him, but throughout the movie I couldn't help but wonder why he's doing this? Didn't he get his revenge in the last film, for the most part? The acting was a bit overdone in this movie, while in El Mariachi it was pretty cut and dried. While a lot recognizable names were in this one...still preferred the simplicity of the original.
Memorable Lines: Priest - "Do you want confession?" El Mariachi - "Maybe later father, because where I'm going...I'd just have to come right back."
Overall Rating: 6.5 out of 10 - Rent as perhaps a themed movie night, or if you want to give Once Upon a Time in Mexico a shot (no pun intended). Or perhaps you saw the first movie, and didn't realize there was a trilogy. Regardless, had some entertaining moments, was overall enjoyable, but there are better things out there to rent. And yes, for those keeping score, I rated 2 Fast 2 Furious higher than this.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Once Upon a Time in Mexico (2003)
In 25 Words or Less...: Guitarist gunslinger becomes embroiled in a conspiracy to overthrow the Mexican president, where all the players have their own varying agendas.
Things to Look Out For: Callbacks to the First Movie in the Trilogy (e.g. Zipline/Bus Sequence); Less Dramatic Acting, More Dramatic Storyline
Thoughts: I liked this one a lot more than Desperado, but am reluctant to rate it as well as El Mariachi, which started off this Robert Rodriguez trilogy. Also reluctant to rate it so well as one friend of mine, in finding out this was on my viewing list told me to not even bother, it was so bad. So, take my opinion for what it's worth...I got caught up in it. I think what did it for me was the multi-faceted storyline. Here you have many plots going on at once...many protagonists, who don't all interact. Well, not directly at least. That created for a rather intricately-woven web of story, motive and action. Not only did you have Antonio Banderas, reprising his role as El Mariachi, but you also had Johnny Depp, playing a CIA agent who played by his own rules (and added an element of humor to the story that Desperado lacked). Throw into the mix a retired FBI agent wanting revenge for a slain comrade and you have three guys with very different approaches and reasons for getting done what they want to get done.
Memorable Lines: "Are you a MexiCAN or a MexiCAN'T?" - Sands (Depp)
Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 - If you've seen the first two, definitely rent this and finish off the trilogy. If you like multiple storylines, such as in Pulp Fiction and Gosford Park (yes, I'm putting those two hand-in-hand...hush, it's my review, not yours), then definitely rent this. If you don't care for some slightly fantastical liberty taken with storyline and lots of gunplay, I'd pass on this. Overall, though, definitely a renter in my book.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Needful Things (1993)
In 25 Words or Less...: Creepy antique dealer opens shop in Castle Rock, Maine, giving the residents things they most desire...but for a small price.
Things to Look Out For: Max Von Sydow's Overall Creepy Demeanor and His Pressing Need For Dental Work and a Manicure
Thoughts: After Dreamcatcher last issue, wasn't sure what to expect from another Stephen King adaptation, but this was pretty engaging/entertaining. The best part by far is Max von Sydow as the creepy (I use that word a lot, but that's what he is) Leland Gaunt, antique dealer and owner of the "Needful Things" store. This was more a study into human nature than a horror story. Not much supernatural goes on...but instead he sets up the entire town as "a chain of fuses" that set each other off in a chain reaction of trouble.
Memorable Lines: Von Sydow's many double-entendre lines, making you wonder as to his true nature: "If it's to hot in here, Mr. Jewett, just say the word. I'm afraid I have a tendency to turn up the heat."
Overall Rating: 7.5 out of 10 - I'd recommend giving this little gem a spin...but it's not really that creepy. Would have given it an 8 if it's ending wasn't so anti-climactic
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That concludes this issue of Take 4. It's taken us from south of the border to the shores of Maine. And we've seen that Curt will watch just about anything...although won't necessarily LIKE it.
posted by Curt at 12:04 AM
3 Comments:
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Considering the movies you watch, I think you need to include a scoring for "Unintentional Comedy Factor." Oh, and "Brady Bunch Factor," for those movies that are so hokey and cheesy you actually get embarrassed for the actors, the producers, the guy selling popcorn in the theater, their families...
Ah...I think I know who this is. :)
May have to include that in the next set of reviews I write...like the idea. :)
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